told,most Bed and Breakfast proprietors live on the verge of
disaster anyway. Financial, infrastructural, or endeavouring to keep
their hands from around the neck of a guest from Hell; B&B owners
usually fall into their beds in the wee hours happy enough to have
another day of disaster averted.
While the uninitiated might think that the most important quality
one should possess to be a successful B&B host would be
gregariousness or bonhomie, in actuality a good dose of apathy or
indeed, a near-total lack of goodwill toward their fellow man work
much better. Without these coping skills, having house guests for
pay would send one shrieking into the night quite regularly.
The resourceful host will learn quickly not to raise an eyebrow at
the strangeness of paying guests, as frequent spikes in blood
pressure aren't conducive to a long and healthy life. The canny host
will save their adrenaline until it is needed to deal with drapes on
fire or some other such risk to personal safety and welfare.
One such prudent couple have sold their B&B and are on their way to
a new life on a deserted beach somewhere in the South Pacific.
Before they left, they regaled us with several amusing stories, not
merely as a way to sing for their supper, but hoping that some
deluded B&B Wannabes might read them and see sense.
There was the scholarly, quiet botanist who was spending the autumn,
tramping the forests all day, researching various fungi. One teatime
he asked if he might brew one of his favourite blends for all
assembled, and made a mushroom tea that had everyone hallucinating
for the next forty eight hours.
The B&B husband ultimately found himself in a nearby tree house with
nothing on but his tie around his forehead Red Indian fashion. He
found his wife under their bed surrounded with the remains of a box
of chocolates, crying over a picture of Englebert Humperdinck.
Our B&B couple once saw nothing wrong with accepting guest's pets at
their establishment. That was until a maiden lady from Slough tried
to sue them when her thoroughbred whippet gave birth to another
guest's dachshund's love puppies.
There is nothing
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was the sly puss that kept escaping from its owner's room and
systematically shredding the toilet rolls in all the loos. Finally
cornered, Tiddles skittered up a fireplace and emitted ghostly yowls
for the next day, frightening off a well-heeled woman who had been
considering staying for the summer.
One engagement that could have resulted in disaster was the
association of naturists who booked the entire B&B for a fortnight.
By this time the couple had been in business for a few years and
were past caring. The naturists were well behaved, polite folk who
spent liberally at the bar without incident and tipped everyone
They wrote a lovely note of thanks that the couple framed and placed
over their reception desk. In the bed and breakfast business, you
take accolades from wherever they come.
having a similar humorous website like this?